Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My life is pants optional.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
