that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
