she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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