I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
