Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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