I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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