I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
