awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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