I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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