At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
