I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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