I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
