oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
