My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
