Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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