Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
