the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
