sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
