I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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