it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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