Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
