You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
