I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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