I wanna bring you to show and tell
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
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