No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
