now i know why i became what i already was.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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