yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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