you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
