She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
