Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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