how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
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