How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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