Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
