I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
