Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
