If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
