I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
