How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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