conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My bed smells like the plague
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
