There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
