My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
