The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
