we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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