I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I have post one night stand depression
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