did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
