Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
