paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
