who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
