1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
