so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
