the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
