I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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