if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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