No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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